The Month I Thought I Failed My Dream

February 2020 was a marshmallow-filled whirlwind that nearly broke me—but it also changed everything.

 

In February 2020, my Marshmallow of the Month Club grew from 20 to 75 subscribers overnight—or at least that’s what it felt like.

What should’ve felt like a dream come true... honestly knocked the wind out of me.

I was still working full-time as a teacher. I was making everything—and I mean everything—by hand.
The marshmallows.
The graham crackers.
Each detail on every box was cut with my Cricut and decorated one-by-one.
Even the trips to the post office were all me, juggling shipping bins between lesson plans and exhaustion.

I was running on cocoa, prayers, and a whole lot of sugar dust.

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I had this beautiful vision of what each box would be: joyful, special, unforgettable.

But that month, boxes went out late.
Deadlines blurred.
Orders piled up.
My hands hurt. My back hurt. My spirit felt bruised.
I felt like I had let everyone down.

When you’re trying to build something out of love, the thought of disappointing your customers—especially your first believers—cuts deep.
I was waiting for the bad reviews to roll in. Bracing myself for people to cancel. I felt like a failure.

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But here’s the thing...

They didn’t cancel.

In fact, some of the kindest, most encouraging messages came through that month. People told me how much they loved the flavors, how their kids squealed when they opened the box, how it became their favorite little ritual.

That month didn’t break me—it built me.

It taught me what I could survive.
It taught me that being overwhelmed doesn’t mean you're not meant for it.
It taught me that sometimes late boxes still deliver joy.

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Now, when I think back to that season, I don’t see failure anymore.

I see fire.
I see fight.
I see the beginning of something beautiful and real.

So if you’re reading this and you’re in your own February 2020 moment—tired, stretched thin, feeling like it’s falling apart—I see you. You’re doing more than you know. You’re building something that matters.

And even if you don’t feel like it right now...

You are not failing. You’re growing.

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Want more behind-the-scenes stories from my Marshmallow of the Month journey? Sign up for my newsletter or explore the archives—there’s plenty more sticky, sweet, and soul-fueled storytelling where this came from.

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